1.            Avoid a Harsh Start Up Sadly most arguments end the way they start.  If you choose to start an argument with harsh sounding words than 96% of the time or greater according to psychologists your argument will end negatively.  You have greater odds of success  if you can approach the person in whom you are in conflict in a kind and gentle manner.
  
 2.            Remember the Difference between Dialoging and Conflict
 Remember that dialogue is about two people wanting to discover the right answer or the best way to do something.  In conflict one or both parties are not interested in the truth but rather in “winning” the argument.  Try to make all conflict resolution about dialoguing and try not to make the other person the enemy that must be defeated at all costs.
  
 3.            Avoid the Four Horsemen
 Dr. Gottman a well known relation expert talks about four signs that can signal the end of a relationship much like the Four Horsemen in the Book of Revelation signal the end of the world. 
                 a.            Criticism
 When one brings up an issue it is alright to complain about it for example you can say dear “I am upset that you did not take out the garbage last night.”  You should not though criticize the other person by attacking their human nature “You lazy good for nothing person, you did not take the garbage out last night.”  Can you see the difference?  In the first statement you are simply stating a fact and in the second you are attacking the person.
                 b.            Contempt
 When you have contempt for a person it often means that you do not consider the person worth the time to treat them with even the common courtesy.  Some signs of having contempt for someone one may simply be not saying please or thank you, yelling loudly at them alone or in front of others, and by not listening to them.
                 c.             Defensiveness
 When a person has been attacked the most common response is not to agree with the person who is doing the attacking but rather to launch a counter attack.  If you really want to get to the truth of a situation or to a compromise, it is important to realize that becoming defensiveness will only lead to the other person getting mad at you for attacking them even if they were the ones who started it.
                 d.            Stonewalling
 Stonewalling happens when one or both parties simply withdraw from the argument.  Well the argument comes to an end the truth is rarely found and both parties normally end up feeling more hurt than united in a common cause.
 
 4.            Avoid the Fundamental Attribution Error
 The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological term which simply means that we are more likely to attribute sinister motives to others behaviors before we will attribute them to ourselves.  For example when someone does something bad to me I am more likely to assume that it is because they do not like me or they are simply evil but if I were to do the same thing to them, I would likely attribute my bad actions to the circumstances of my life.  To avoid the Fundamental Attribution Error we must all realize that we are all imperfect, that most times people do bad things out of neglect and not out of malice, and lastly that God created us all good.  Another way of stating it is always try to think positively about the other person.
  
 5.            Remind Yourselves that You are on the same team
 Our society has taught us to be very competitive with others since we were very young both in the world of athletics and in the classroom.  It is important to realize that we are not in competition with others 100% of the time and sometimes another person’s victory is my victory also. 
                
 6.            Compromise
 Honest compromise has nothing to do with just giving up but it has all to do with defining what is important to oneself and holding fast to that while respecting what is important to the other and while this is being done both parties look for a win-win situation. 
  
 7.            Be tolerant of each other’s faults
 Remember that no human being is perfect and so therefore when working with other people know that you must be willing to tolerate the faults of others and that they are tolerating your faults as well.
  
 8.            Avoid Personal Attacks
 It is important to judge each argument in the discussion on whether it is a good argument or not and not by who said it.  Remember that “even a broken clock is right twice a day.”  Being willing to accept others opinions and ideas may lead to solutions that one may never have thought of.
  
 9.            Keep the Goal in Mind
 Sometimes we can find ourselves getting off track and it is important to keep focus on solving the problem at hand and to let as much of the past be the past by not seeking opportunities for revenge or one up-man-ship because of past hurts.
  
 10.          Get a Mediator
 You should never be afraid of getting the help of someone else the more ideas the better.