The Seven Sorrows of Our Lady
1.         The Prophecy of Simeon (Luke 2:33-35)
2.         The Flight into Egypt (Matthew 3: 13-15)
3.         The Loss of Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:41-52)
4.         The Meeting of Jesus and Mary on the Way of the Cross (John 19:17)
5.         The Crucifixion (John 19:25-30)
6.         The Taking Down of the Body of Jesus from the Cross (John 19: 31-37)
7.         Jesus laid in the Tomb (John 19:38-42)
 
The Seven Joys of Mary
1.         The Annunciation (Luke 1:27-38)
2.         The Visitation (Luke 1:39-58)
3.         The Birth of Jesus (Luke 2:7)
4.         The Adoration of the Magi (Matthew 2:7-11)
5.         The Finding of Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:46)
6.         The Resurrection of Our Lord (John 20:1-9)
7.         The Assumption and Coronation of the Blessed Virgin (Apocalypse 12)

A great example of how Mary is a great role model for us is a DVD retreat given by Fr. Bob Barron. Fr. Barron has become one of my favorite spiritual writers and I highly recommend him. This particular DVD, Seven Deadly Sin/Seven Lively Virtues, was a retreat that Fr. Barron preached. His inspiration for this retreat was Dante’s treatment of the seven deadly sins in his poems the Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradisio. As part of this treatment Fr. Barron points out that Dante saw the Blessed Virgin Mary as an example of someone who practiced the seven virtues that counter the seven deadly sins. As I watch this excellent DVD I felt like the Blessed Virgin Mary had answered my prayer so far this month of October, I will reflect on the Blessed Virgin Mary as a role model for overcoming the seven deadly sins by living a life of virtue.

The first of the seven deadly sins is pride. Pride is simply when we make ourselves and not God as the center of our life and world. Pride is most evident to me when I see people trying to make other people like them by impressing them by explaining how wonderful they are. I know that pride is normally very easy for me to identify because most of the behaviors that prideful people do are the same things that I do when I am prideful. The virtue that is opposed to pride is humility. Now humility is not self hate but rather knowing the truth about oneself. For us humans it often has to deal with knowing that we are not totally evil but we are at the same time we are not totally good. Spiritually it also has to do with accepting the fact that we not only need God but that God loves us unconditionally. If we truly realized our dependence on God in addition the unconditional love God has for each one of us the world would be transformed. Dante saw Mary’s declaration of being the “handmaid of the Lord” as a sign of Mary’s humility. Mary accepted her role in God’s plan and knows that what God wants for her is what will be best for her. I also think it is good to point out that because Mary was sinless by God’s grace, it does not mean that she could not have chosen to sin. Remember that Adam and Eve were also sinless but unfortunately chose to sin.

The second of the seven deadly sins is envy. Envy is the feeling of resentment at someone else’s success and talents and the feeling of joy we receive from someone else’s failing. Every time that I begin to recognize envy in me, I always discover that it is the result of my own insecurities. When I am comfortable with who I am then I have no need to rejoice in someone else’s failings or wallow in my own failures when someone else succeeds. A true Christian rooted in God’s love rejoices in someone else’s success because he or she is a brother or sister in Christ. Dante sees Mary as a person without envy because of the Wedding Feast of Cana. Mary is concerned that the groom and bride are not seen as committing a social fopaut by running out of wine. She insists that Jesus helps them. She does not rejoice in their mistake by becoming a gossip but rather loves them by wanting what is best for them and pitching in to help them.

The third of the seven deadly sins is Anger. While “anger” is the word used in most lists, I feel that it is probably not the most appropriate word to describe this deadly sin. When I think of the word “anger”, I think more of a feelings and I believe that feelings are neither good nor bad. Rather, it is what we do with our anger that can either be virtuous or sinful. I therefore prefer the word “wrath”. Wrath is what happens when we let our anger get out of control. Wrath is created when we do not keep our anger in check with our reason. I believe that when Jesus cleared the Temple area of the merchants and stuff, he may have been angry but he was not filled with wrath.

The virtue that opposes wrath is forgiveness. When I forgive someone that I am angry with my anger remains in check. A visual image that comes to mind is that of a balloon. Let us say that a balloon filled with air represent our anger. Forgiveness then would be letting the air out of the balloon slowly and deliberately. Balloon while inflated is under a tension that is not good for if a balloon is inflated too much then it will explode. A balloon in which the air is let out a little at a time relieves the tension in it.

Unfortunately, I think that true forgiveness is really misunderstood in our world today. True forgiveness is not about forgetting or acquitting. Only God can forgive and forget because He is God. Human beings have a personal obligation not to forgive and forget but rather to forgive and learn. I may forgive someone who has done me bodily harm but forgiving them does not mean that I put myself in a situation to be hurt by that person again if I can avoid it. Rather forgiveness for me means releasing the tension, the animosity, the hate, the anger that I have toward that person and saying to that person, I do not hold you any ill will toward you.
Here are a couple of practical tips for forgiveness.

1. Don’t dismiss what happen but rather examine it. Pretending something did not happen will not make our anger go away but will most likely bury it in our psyche and there it will stay until it decides to manifest it self in some dysfunctional way. Rather examine it and see what led up to the event. How can this event be avoided the next time? I know that having a plan to avoid being hurt again helps me to relax and to let go of some of the hostility and fear I have toward the other person. Acknowledge that something has happened. There is probably no worse feeling than having something happen to you and then to have no one believe you including yourself. It tears my heart apart when I see true victims blame themselves.

2. Realize that forgiveness takes time and grace. There is an old saying that goes something like “to forgive is divine.” I believe this statement is true so when God asks us to forgive someone who has hurt us He is asking us to do something that is not normal to human beings but God is always there willing to give us the grace necessary to forgive. Also realize that forgiveness takes time. We may not be able to forgive immediately (nor should we expect others to forgive us immediately). We should allow ourselves and others time to accept, to think, and to pray.

3. Realize that forgiving someone also benefits us. Refusing to forgive is like drinking a poison drink that we call “resentment”. Refusing to forgive affects us not only emotionally but also physically as our body begins to reacts to the new stress in our lives.

4. Talk to a third party (not to gossip) who is a trusted confident. This person maybe a spiritual director or a priest, can help remove the negative energy from the experience by listening. It is amazing how therapeutic listening can be.

5. Remember except for the grace of God there go I. Remember that as human beings we are all capable of great acts of sin and violence and it is only the grace of God that keeps us from doing so. Why do we have all that we have? We did not earn it. God freely give it to us. It helps me to realize that often the person who hurt me is in a situation that is must worse than mine and therefore probably hurt me because he or she was acting out of his or her ignorance of God.

The Marian example for Dante is Mary finding Jesus in the temple. How angry she must have been after searching for Jesus for so long (3 days). Mary’s words to Christ are mild compared to the wrath she could have expressed.

The next of the seven deadly sins is sloth. Most of the time we understand sloth as laziness or procrastination but in his DVD retreat, Seven Deadly Sin/Seven Lively Virtues, Fr. Barron remarks that sloth is more than just physical laziness. Sloth is in a very real sense a spiritual laziness. We commit the sin of sloth when we do not take our spiritual life seriously. For Fr. Barron the opposite of sloth is zeal. So sloth is when I take my faith for granted or when I do not search out new ways to grow in faith. We are called to not simply do the minimum to get by but rather to put our whole heart into it. We are called to have a zeal for doing God’s will because we know that doing God’s will brings glory to His Name and happiness to us. For Dante, Mary showed zeal when after discovering that she was to be the Mother of God she chose to go help Elizabeth. She did not simply sit around and rely on her position as Mother of God to save her but rather filled with God she went forth to serve.

The fifth of the seven deadly sins is avarice or greed. For me all greed comes from being insecure. When I am not happy with who I am, then I try to fill myself up with everything and I try to mask insecurities with surplus wealth. The virtue that opposes greed is generosity because generosity is only capable because a person feels secure in his or her own being to give away ones material possessions. Avarice therefore is not only a clinging to material possessions but is also letting material possessions define who we are. Great and true generosity is only possible when we are rooted in our relationship with God and knows that He loves me with or without my possessions. For Dante Mary proved this by giving birth to the King of Kings in a stable and not in a palace. Another story that illustrates what I am talking about from the book The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning:

Abbot Anastasius had a book of very fine parchment, which was worth twenty shekels. It contained both the Old and New Testaments in full, and Anastasius read from it daily as he meditated. Once a certain monk came to visit him and, seeing the book, made off with it. The next day, when Anastasius went to his Scripture reading and found that it was missing, he knew at once that the monk had taken it. Yet he did not send after him, for fear that he might add the sin of perjury to the theft.

Now the monk went into the city to sell the book. He wanted eighteen shekels for it. They buyer said, “Give me the book so that I may find out if it is worth that much money.” With that he took the book to the holy Anastasius and said, “Father, take a look at this and tell me if you think it is worth as much as eighteen shekels.” Anastasius said, “Yes, it is a find book. And at eighteen shekels it is a bargain.”

So the buyer went back to the monk and said, “Here is your money. I showed the book to Father Anastasius said it was worth eighteen shekels.”

The monk was stunned. “Was that all he said? Did he say nothing else?”

“No, he did not say a word more than that.”

“Well I have changed my mind and don’t want to sell the book after all.”

Then he went back to Anastasius and begged him with many tears to take the book back, but Anastasius said gently, “No brother, keep it. It is my present to you.”

But the monk said, “If you do not take it back, I shall have no peace.” After that the monk dwelt with Anastasius for the rest of his life.

May we never define ourselves by our possessions for they shall all become dust.

The sixth of the seven deadly sins is gluttony. Our country has a great focus on weight. Just watch television news and there are always new studies coming out telling us how obese Americans are becoming. We have the television show “Biggest loser” or something like that. What is the cause of this? Is it because of fast food, lack of exercise, psychological problems? All of these could be true but underneath them all it is a spiritual problem. Fr. Barron points out that Carl Jung stated that “all problems are really spiritual problems.” Fr. Barron is quick to point out that the Catholic Church is not “puritanical” we believe in celebrating life. We also though believe in moderation. When we use food or drink (or even drugs) to cover up our issues instead of turning to Christ for help then we have reached a level of sinfulness. I recently finished reading a book called Tweak. It is about a boy’s life as a drug addict. This sentence really struck me: “I remember being in L.A. at my mom’s house as a little kid and just staring into the mirror for hours. It was like if I looked long enough, maybe I finally be handsome, it never worked. I just got uglier and uglier. Nothing about me ever seemed good enough. And there was this sadness inside me—this hopelessness. Focusing on my physical appearance was at least easier than trying to address the internal !@#!. I could control the external—at least, to a point. I could buy different clothes, or cut my hair, or whatever. The pit opening up inside me was too frightening to even look at. But I could get a new pair of shoes and here, I can make sure I’m clean shaven and have good skin.” As Christians we do not have to be afraid to face the “internal !@#@” because God has proven that he loves us. He is the Father who is there always waiting to welcome home His prodigal sons and daughters never giving us a chance to explain ourselves because He is just to happy to have us home.

Fr. Barron points out that Dante did not have a Marian example to counteract gluttony. He assumed it was because there were no passages in the Bible about Mary eating. The virtue though that counteracts gluttony is asceticism. Asceticism is not beating oneself up but rather training one’s body to respond to our desires. Athletes practice asceticism all the time in order to become better. In the same way we Christians should give things up from time to time to become better Christians. God does not want to punish us but He does want us to become better people and asceticism is a good way of doing it.

The last of the seven deadly sins is lust. Lust is simply when we treat people as an object instead of as a person. When I use you for my own selfish needs either in reality or in my fantasies then I have given in to lust. It may be a lust for power or a lust for sexual gratification but when I use another person I do them harm because I do not treat them as a person. John Paul II stated in his writings that the opposite of love is not hating someone but rather using them for our own selfish needs and desires. The whole of Catholic sexual teaching comes down to the fact that we are called to treat each person as a person. For Dante, Mary response to the Angel of how exactly she was to conceive showed Dante, Mary’s desire not to use another person.

Lust can be a very powerful force in our lives but it too can be tamed through asceticism. We must work hard though to train ourselves to not put ourselves into situations where we will be tempted. I always like to suggest to people who feel tempted to give into lust is to stop and pray the rosary. Mary can be a great help in preserving our chastity and practically speaking it helps put a distance between the temptation and the action by filling our mind with thoughts of Christ.

Why do we know so little of the origins of the rosary?  Because it arose out of love.