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Contents
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1) Loyalty
There was a king who had ten wild dogs. He used them to torture and kill any of his servants who made a mistake. One of the servants gave an opinion which was wrong, and the king didn’t like it at all. So he ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs.
The servant said, “I served you for ten years, and you do this to me? Please give me ten days before throwing me to those dogs!”
The king agreed. In those ten days, the servant went to the guard who looks after the dogs and told him he would like to serve the dogs for the next ten days. The guard was baffled but agreed, and the servant started feeding the dogs, cleaning them, bathing them and providing all sorts of comfort for them.
When the ten days were over, the king ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs for his punishment. When he was thrown in, all were amazed to see the ravenous dogs only licking the feet of the servant! The king, baffled at what he was seeing, said, “What has happened to my dogs?”
The servant replied, “I served the dogs for only ten days, and they didn’t forget my service. Yet I served you for a whole ten years and you forgot all, at my first mistake!”
The king realized his mistake and ordered the servant to be set free.
Be careful not to judge a person on one mistake! -
2) Lost A Word
Lost . . . A Word*
I lost a word yesterday,
Unguarded, from my tongue;
It slipped into the atmosphere -
Then trouble had begun.
A dozen others followed it;
They filled the room with grief,
No matter then what word was said,
It could not bring relief.
If only I had stopped that word
Before it crossed my lips,
My day had been a happy one -
And sweet with fellowships.
I think I wasted yesterday,
Hurt self as well as friend,
Today I want to watch my words,
And let not one offend.
Gertrude McDaniel -
3)Models of LoveCardinal Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan was a Vietnamese bishop who spent over 25 years in imprisonment for his faith. In the midst of that time he wrote a book on the back of old calendars that he was eventually able to have smuggled out of Vietnam. The book was called "The Road of Hope: A Gospel from Prison." I have been inspired by many parts of this book and his entire life. One particular quote that has touched me is:
There are many types of charity. There is the noisy type of charity, broadcasting good deeds; the banker’s charity that demands credit for everything done for another; the charity of a zookeeper that only involves food programs, the patronizing charity that looks down on those who receive; the dictator’s charity that will only follow its own opinion; the charity of the fraud that must exhibit what it accomplishes.
The following is a guided reflection based on the above quote.
Thuan, Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan: The Road Of Hope: A Gospel from Prison(Boston: Pauline Books & Media, 2001)
THE BROADCASTER
The broadcaster who is one who will help another person but in exchange wants to be able to broadcast to everyone how great he or she is for helping.
Are you a broadcaster when you serve?
1. Do you want people to know all the good things you are doing or can you do a good deed every once in a while without receiving public recognition?
2. Do you look to see how much prestige you might gain before deciding whether or not to help someone?
3. Do you help others only to win their esteem?
4. Do you complain when you do a good deed and do not receive any recognition for it?
5. Do you like to list your accomplishments for others because you feel that you have to in order to impress them?
THE BANKER
The banker will help another person but only in situations where he or she is sure to be repaid. They are like bankers who give a person a loan but expect to be repaid with interest.
1. Do you only do good deeds when you are sure to get something out of it for yourself?
2. Do you demand other people to pay you back for good deeds?
3. What was your last good deed that you did that you did not receive repayment for?
4. Do you expect the people you helped to treat you differently because of the help you gave them?
5. When asking people for help, do you simply ask them for it or do you feel the need to always remind them of how you helped them first?
ZOO KEEPER
The zoo keeper is interested in only helping people with the physical needs. He or she has no desire to get to know the person they are helping as a person. The zoo keeper is only interested in making sure everyone has food, water, and shelter and not about any spiritual needs the person may have like the need to feel love or useful.
1. When you help someone do you take the time to find out more about them, like their name or personal story?
2. When you meet people who are in need are you friendly and kind to them?
3. Do you take the time to help friends through difficult situations by simply listening to them?
4. Do you ever encourage someone to pray about their situation?
5. Do you see each person as a person or do you judge them by their so called "quality of life"?
THE HIGH & MIGHTY PERSON
The high and mighty person loves to help others because it gives him or her a sense of superiority. They believe that helping others makes them look good and the person they are helping look bad.
1. When helping other people do you like to rub it in their face?
2. Do you like to constantly remind others how you helped them in order to receive more gratitude from them?
3. Do you like to chastise people as you help them?
4. Do you only help another when it will gain you fame or attention?
5. Do you expect others to treat you differently because of the good works you have done?
THE DICTATOR
The dictator is the type of person who does not mind helping others but only if everyone agrees to do it his or her way. The dictator is not so much interested in loving and serving others but rather more into controlling others.
1. Do you always have to get your way if you are going to help?
2. Can you be a part of a service organization and not get your way?
3. Do you find yourself insisting on your way of doing things?
4. Do you ever listen to others or allow others to give their advice on how to solve a problem?
5. Do you quit helping others if you do not get your way?
THE THEIF
The thief is the type of person who joins a group that are helping others only to steal the credit. He or she really does not carry their own weight in the project and sometimes are more of a problem then they are a help.
1. Do you give to the best of your ability when you help others?
2. Do you feel the need to take credit for everything the group is doing?
3. Do you lurk around the leaders of the group in order to be noticed?
4. Are you willing to do a job even if no one notices it?
5. Do you brag about your efforts instead of talking about the successes of the team?
THE CHRISTIAN
The Christian motivation for service comes from the Cross and the Sacred Scriptures. In the Cross the Christian sees in a very real way the immense love God has for him or her and then he or she is motivated by a desire to return that love by serving their brothers and sisters in Christ. The Scriptures are a love letter from God giving the Christian the way of life they should live. They are inspired by Jesus' parables and His example at the Last Supper and they do not wish to be found unworthy of the kingdom of heaven.
1. Do you see Christ in the people that you are serving?
2. What is your motivation for service?
3. Is service to others a necessity, a burden or an opportunity? Why?
4. What stories of service from the Bible motivate you?
5. How can you show others the love in your heart in a similar way to the way God show us His love for us through the Cross? -
4) Practical Way to Love Your Enemy
You have heard that it was said, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.' "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:43-44)
Jesus’ command to love our enemies is a hard enough commandment in itself when we think of our enemies as people who want to do us physical harm like terrorists or people in another country but it becomes even harder when we realize that our enemies are often people much closer to us like our coworkers and even family members. How then are we to put this tough teaching of Christ into practice? I personally have found these psychological practices that help me love the people in my life whether I consider them my enemy or not.
1. Positive or Negative Charge.
The first one I wish to talk about I learned about from a management class for priests called Good Leaders Good Shepherds. The instructor stood up in front of the classroom of priests and asked each one of us to state our three most positive qualities. I told the room that I was “smart,” “organized” and “loyal,” and the room of priests all agreed that those three words described me very well. Then the instructor asked each of us to state the negative expression of each of those traits. Not the opposite but the negative. So for “smart” I said “know it all,” for “organized” I said “control freak,” and for “loyal” I said “follower.” All the priests in the room agreed that those words also described me very well also. I began to realize then that sometimes when people are looking at me with a negative bent they are seeing my positive qualities in a negative light and I also realize that I am guilty of doing that to others as well. So now when I am really frustrated with someone, I try to take the time to find the positive expression of the negative thing I am seeing. It has helped me greatly in my struggle to love everyone.
2. Positive Sentiment Override.
The second thing is very similar in the sense that psychologists tell us that we treat people better when our positive feelings for them out weight our negative feelings toward them. I therefore take the time to think of positive attributes of a person before I meet with them about something. I especially do this when I am meeting with someone I find extremely difficult to work with.
3. Fundamental Attribution Error.
Another great thing I learned about people is that our first instinct is to criticize people more when they do bad things. We will often say that they did the bad thing because they were evil or rotten but instead of saying the same thing about ourselves we are more likely to blame our circumstances. I had to do it because… This is what psychologists refer to as the Fundamental Attribution Error. It basically means that we often attribute for more cynical motives to others people behavior than our own. Realizing that this is a fault that we all share in helps me understand that the other person more than likely did not plan to hurt me in the way that they did and therefore I am able to forgiven them easier.
4. Avoid Zero Sum Game.
A lot of our society is based on competition. The idea being if I am winning someone else is losing and if someone else is winning I must be losing. A lot of life though is not competition but rather opportunities for us to see that another person’s successes are my successes and my success are other people’s successes. Maybe the best way to describe this is that there is a certain maturity level that happens when one can play a game with a preschooler and let the preschooler win. Seeing the joy in the preschooler’s face is worth more than any easy victory over the child could ever give.
5. Firm Identity in God.
The key and most fundamental part of all of this is what is your identity rooted in? If it is rooted in other’s people opinions then you will always be in a precarious situation because people’s attitudes are often very fickle. If your identity however is rooted in the knowledge that God loves you and has made you special then the storm can rock your most in most calm.
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