The following wisdom comes from Helen Alexander and her book Experiencing Bereavement.
 
 Share your time—It’s always hard adapting to change, whatever the reason.  Major bereavement creates a void that only a long period of adjustment can fill.  During and after that time, it’s good to have friends who won’t demand dazzling company, but who will let the grieving person talk about what he or she is feeling without getting embarrassed or trying to change the subject.  So if you can offer time, a warm welcome, a listening ear, or even just another brain on a crossword puzzle, then you will be of help.
  
 It’s good, too, if you knew the person who died.  Don’t be afraid to talk about the past, because sharing memories is often welcomed by the grieving.
  
 Coax, but don’t pressure—There‘s only a thin dividing line between these two.  Nothing is worse than forcing another person to do something he or she just doesn’t want to do.  Equally, many bereaved people may need a little coaxing if you’re thinking of including them in an outing or a meal.  The difficulty is knowing when to accept “no” for an answer.  Just try to be sensitive.
  
 Urge patience—After the first few weeks, some bereaved people talk of making major life changes—selling the family home, or moving away to a completely new part of the country.  These are such life-changing decisions that they need to be made with much though and not in the emotional turmoil of a recent bereavement.
  
 If you can, urge patience and recommend that the decision be postponed until a certain period of time has elapsed, such as six months or a year.
  
 Be alert—There may be some practical ways to help.  Immediately after the death you may have suggested things you could do to help, but stopped because time has moved on.  Yet there may still be things that you can do.
  
 Don’t slink away—In supporting a friend through bereavement, try to be honest.  If you find that you are not happy with the demands being made on you, try to say so—not nastily, or angrily, but with sensitivity.  It might feel more comfortable to put the answering machine on for the next few weeks and be unavailable, but the bereaved person will be left in the dark, wondering if he or she has caused some offense.
  
 Get Support Yourself --If you do find yourself looking for excuses to avoid your friend’s company, ask yourself why.  Is it because you find your friend’s conversation depressing, even boring?  Perhaps there’s a little voice saying, “I wish she’d cheer up, she ought to be getting over it by now!”  Maybe it’s because you need a bit of light relief.  After all, a day-by-day reminder of mortality can be tough on anyone. 
  
 Nobody would condemn you for feeling like this.  It’s perfectly understandable.  See if you can find an outlet elsewhere: other friends, a swim, a good book, even a favorite television program.   Then you will have more energy to listen with compassion.  Above all, don’t feel guilty.  Don’t confuse your very real need for a break with a reaction against your friend.  You may have to continue supporting and befriending that person for a long time. You cannot do this with resentments in your heart, or try to “extricate” yourself by becoming inexplicable busy or unavailable
  
 Alexander, Helen: Experiencing Bereavement (Boston: Pauline Books & Media, 2002)