Have you ever put a book on a shelf and forgot about?  This is exactly what I did with 20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children by Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff.  I was given the book when I was at Sacred Heart by the Dad’s Prayer Group.  Once a month a group of dads both young and old would gather to pray and talk about the blessings and challenges of being a dad in the world today.  In addition to their prayer and reflection a member would present one of the virtues found in this book.  When I moved from Sacred Heart to St. Norbert, I packed it away and forgot about it until a couple of weeks ago when I opened a box and found it.  I thought to myself since the month of November in the Church makes us thinks about saints and the life we want to live that this would be a good book to reflect on this month.  I pray that you will find some of my reflections helpful in your daily journey toward heaven.

Empathy
The first virtue that Unell and Wyckoff choose to write about is Empathy.  What is Empathy?  Empathy is more than just listening even though listening plays a major role in being empathetic. Here is their definition:

Em-pa-thyn.1. The imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it 2. The capacity for participating in another’s feelings or ideas.

Empathy to me is the ability to stop and try to understand how someone else is feeling.  I am practicing empathy when someone comes to me and tells me a story about how someone has hurt them and I imagine what it must have been like to be the person being hurt.  When I am using empathy, I can be more caring and compassionate toward others because I can imagine myself in the role of the other person. 

Empathy requires active listening skills which means that I have to focus on the person talking to me and not be thinking of the next thing I am going to say and I must also be aware of that person’s body language.  If a person tells me they are doing fine and they are on the verge of tears and I believe them then most likely I have just failed a test of empathy. 

One of the best ways to be empathetic is to ask open ended questions (questions that cannot simply be answered with a “yes” or “no” answer) and allow the person to express their feelings.  Another good way to practice empathy is try to remember a similar experience that you may have had and what emotions accompanied that experience.  We must be careful though not to assume that these experiences are equal but rather our past experiences help us get into the ballpark of what someone else is feeling. 

It is important to teach children (and ourselves) empathy because “they (us) need to learn behaviors that show empathy in order to help them live in peace with their neighbors, get along with their coworkers on the job, and enjoy relationships with friends and family.  In fact, empathy is the rock-solid foundation for almost every brick used in building solid citizens of today and tomorrow.  Empathy is the cement that holds together the secret formula for constructing caring and compassionate human beings, and it is as essential for survival as air and water.”

10 Steps: To Help One Develop the Virtue of Empathy
1.            I can practice listening.  Listening is more than just hearing sounds and noises.  Listening involves hearing the ideas that are being expressed through both words and body language.  Too often we can find ourselves instead of not listening focusing on what we are going to say next.

2.            I can pay better attention to body language.  Most of what we communicate to people is not through spoken words but rather through our facial expressions and body movements.  If I tell people that I am “fine” and I am ready to cry then I am obviously not fine.

3.            When listening to the person, try to imagine yourself in that persons place and how you would feel if the events that he or she is describing happened to you.

4.            Ask yourself why do you think the person is telling this story to you and what would you want someone to do for you if it you were in that situation.

5.            Rephrase what the person is saying and repeat it back to them so that they can clarify their thoughts: “What I hear you saying is…?

6.            Acknowledge their emotions in a way that allows them to know that emotions are not good or bad but what we do with them can be.  “I understand that you are angry Johnny but you still have no right to hit your sister,” is a good example of a statement that acknowledges the person’s emotions but also lets the person know that the following action was not appropriate.

7.            Do be quick to give advice.  Sometimes we can be so quick to give advice that we do not listen to what the person is saying.

8.            Be careful of story matching.  You may have a great story that “tops” the story the person just told you but sometimes the other person is just looking for someone to listen to them.

9.            When you have hurt someone try to play things over in your head and ask yourself what is that you did to hurt the person or how would you have felt if things were reversed.

10.          Lastly pray with the person.  Allow the person know that you are with them and that you want to offer their

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The month of November begins with the great feast days of All Saints and All Souls Days and ends with the feasts of Christ the King and the beginning of Advent.  This time of year our Church readings inspire us to think about whether or not we will be ready when our Lord comes again and will be worthy of heaven.  As Catholics we believe that the answers to those two questions depend a lot on how we live our daily lives and how we treat others which one may call in philosophical language ethics.  As Catholics we believe in a virtue ethic in which we are called constantly to improve ourselves.  So continuing this month’s reflections on virtue with the help of Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff’s book: 20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children.

Helpfulness
Our next virtue is the virtue of helpfulness.  What exactly do we mean by the word “helpfulness”?  This is Unell’s and Wyckoff’s definition of helpfulness:

Helpvb. 1.To contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist 2.To give aid be of service or advantage.

We have all known people who talk a big game about being helpful but while they are talking about being helpful or what a big help they are someone else is actually doing the real work.  There is a part of each of us that really wants to be a helpful person because we like the idea of being needed by another person but this does not mean that have or practice the virtue of helpfulness.  The person who is willing to help when there is no glory, no credit, no fame to be gained is a person who has learned the virtue of helpfulness.  I know that I have been blessed in all my parish assignments to truly have helpful people. 

One of the most important things about being truly helpful is learning to be selfless in our thoughts and actions.  Truly helpful people give without counting the cost.  They are motivated truly out of a love and respect for others and a notion often inspired by faith that this is what God wants us to do—help one another.  We are to be the Good Samaritans of today. 

It is also important to remember that being helpful requires a sacrifice on your part and that God is never out done in generosity. 

10 Steps: To Help One Develop the Virtue of Helpfulness
1.            Using your empathy skills ask yourself how I would feel if I was in need of help.

2.            Find a way to care about the other person.  We are more incline to be helpful when we care about the other person even if is as minimal as I care for the person because he or she is a fellow human being.

3.            Practice doing things that you know need to be done with being asked to.

4.            Find truly helpful people and see how they live their life.  I am pretty sure the joy you see in them will inspire you to be more helpful.

5.            Make sure you know the differences between needs and wants in your own life.  Often we don’t volunteer because we are afraid to give up some small creature comfort.  If we remind ourselves of the differences between needs and want then we will more likely be helpful.

6.            Try being the friend (or helpful person) you would want others to be.

7.            Remember that being helpful often strengthens relationships

8.            Try to be grateful to those who have helped you. 

9.            Admit our own need for weaknesses and that other people are not competition but rather have strengths that you may need and they may need your strengths because of their weaknesses.

10.          Look for the odd task or the hardest task and try to be the first to do it - knowing that this is following the example of Christ who washed the feet of His disciples while they were all arguing about who the greatest one was.

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We have come to our last Sunday of November and the first Sunday of Advent.  Where has the year gone?  Let us continue our look at some of the different virtues that we should develop in order to be a better person with the help of the book written by Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff’s called 20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children.

Tolerance
If there is one virtue that our society proclaims loud and clear it is the virtue of tolerance but often what they call tolerance is anything but.  Where true tolerance promotes learning and understanding of those who are different the false tolerance preached by our society declares that tolerance means that we should never have to be faced with those differences.  They have turned tolerance into a promotion of same-ness which is not a virtue because if God wanted us all to be the same He would have made us that way.  Instead God made us very diverse so that we can see real beauty.  Here is Barbara’s and Jerry’s definition of Tolerance:

Tol-er-ance n. 1. A fair and objective attitude toward those who opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, or the like differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry 2. Any liberal, undogmatic viewpoint 3. The act of capacity of enduring; endurance.

I like to think of tolerance in the terms of an analogy with art.  While there can be very beautiful mono-colored pieces of art for there to be true vibrancy in life there needs to be more than one color so that we can compare and contrast so that we can see a difference in how the light reflects off the art etc.  The human race is like a giant mosaic and it is our differences that allow us to truly be God’s masterpiece. 

People though today want to erase all our differences for example school prayer.  There are many who proclaim in the name of tolerance that there should be no prayer time in public schools.  This is not tolerance in my opinion but rather discrimination.  True tolerance would find opportunities for each culture, religion, etc to express its form of prayer in a way that others could learn about it.  I know that I have come to a greater reverence for the Jewish faith by participating/attending a Seder meal and a Bar Mitzvah. 

A while ago I was talking with someone who was not a Catholic and who did not understand why we would not allow her to receive Communion.  I explained to her that tolerance is not caving in and giving up any our beliefs for others to feel comfortable and I used the analogy if she was to invite me over to her house she would be hospitable by allowing me to come into her house but there are certain parts of her house that are more intimate to her than others.  Even though she would have invited me over to her house she would not want me going through her medicine cabinets or her clothes drawers.  In much the same way we hold the Eucharist as something that is so intimate to us as Catholics that we cannot just give it away.  I also went on with my analogy to state how each of my brothers and sisters who have their own houses have different levels of comfort when I am there.  My one brother is fine with me leaving an empty soda can on the kitchen counter but one of my sisters would have a cow if I did that at her house.  Being a good guess dictates that I make an effort to be tolerant of my host’s desires also.  I therefore do not place empty soda cans on my sister’s counter when I am her house.  Tolerance therefore demands respect for both people involved. 

10 Steps: To Help One Develop the Virtue of Tolerance
1.            Talk to people.  It is interesting the director of the Transformers movies stated in an interview that he tried to keep the evil robot’s dialogue to a minimum because the more we hear someone talk the less scary and evil they seem to us.

2.            If you find a particular race, ethnicity, culture, religion etc. scary take some time to read and study about them.  A class or book on world religion can be a great way of doing it.

3.            Do not lump people into one group or at least allow for diversity among members of that group.  Think of how many different types of Catholics there are.

4.            Try to do some sort of service with a person that is different from you.  Nothing brings people together then working with each other to help others.

5.            Assume the best in others.  List two or three great qualities of people who are different then you

6.            Know the true meaning of tolerance.

7.            Acknowledge our own sinfulness and ask God’s for the grace to overcome some of our hidden prejudices.

8.            Try to understand the position of another person and appreciate that person’s history that lead to their point of view.

9.            Try to compromise on things and leave the “my way or the highway” mentality behind.

10.          Take time to learn your own reasoning and beliefs.

I have been working hard to come up with a topic for the month of December and while many different ideas have come to my mind none of them seem to be what I really wanted to write about.  Instead, I found myself wanting to write about many different things that just did not seem very connected at all.  So I have cleverly titled this month’s spiritual ponderings “Spiritual Randomness” and now I can write about anything I want. 
 
I wish to begin this month’s randomness with a short passage from the Book of Genesis.  Before I get to the passage though, let me set the scene.  Abraham’s son Isaac (the one who Abraham almost sacrificed) has two sons.  The oldest of which is Esau and the youngest one was Jacob.  Esau and Jacob from the day that they were born (twins) were literally rivals with Jacob normally getting the better of his slightly older brother.  Jacob at the point of the upcoming passage has stolen Esau’s birthright and tricked his father into giving him Esau’s special blessing.  Jacob flees his homeland in order to prevent his brother killing him.   
 
While Jacob is on the run from his old brother, God mysteriously guides Jacob to a distant relative’s house named Laban.  Laban has two daughters the oldest being Leah and the youngest being Rachel.  Jacob makes a deal with Laban that he would work for him for seven years in exchange for the right to marry Rachel.  Laban though tricks Jacob and marries him off to his oldest daughter Leah instead.  Jacob then works another seven years and is eventually allowed to marry Rachel also.  Jacob ends up with a huge family that includes twelve sons. 
 
Jacob begins to fear that his father-in-law would never let him return to his homeland so he uplifts his family secretly and runs toward his homeland.  As he approaches his family land he learns that Esau is waiting for him.  So now he has an angry father-in-law behind him and a brother who he has not seen in fourteen years ahead of him.  Remembering that the reason why he fled his homeland in the first place was because Esau wanted to kill him, Jacob bows down and prays. 
 
After he is done praying he sends his family over the river in front of him and he stays behind.  I guess he might be thinking that if Esau does kill him he does not want his family to see him die.  And now here is the passage:
 
Genesis 32:25-33
Jacob was left there alone. Then some man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When the man saw that he could not prevail over him, he struck Jacob's hip at its socket, so that the hip socket was wrenched as they wrestled. The man then said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go until you bless me." "What is your name?" the man asked. He answered, "Jacob." Then the man said, "You shall no longer be spoken of as Jacob, but as Israel, because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed." Jacob then asked him, "Do tell me your name, please." He answered, "Why should you want to know my name?" With that, he bade him farewell. Jacob named the place Peniel, "Because I have seen God face to face," he said, "yet my life has been spared." At sunrise, as he left Penuel, Jacob limped along because of his hip.  That is why, to this day, the Israelites do not eat the sciatic muscle that is on the hip socket, inasmuch as Jacob's hip socket was struck at the sciatic muscle.
 
Jacob literally wrestles with a divine being.  In the Old Testament any manifestation of God is confusing because it could be God or one of His angels.  This is a way in which the Old Testament authors protect God’s glory and majesty.  As the sun is rises Jacob demands a blessing from the divine being.  The divine being then changes Jacob’s name from “Jacob” to “Israel”.  The name “Israel” literally means “he who wrestles or struggles with God.” 
 
As I read and pray over this passage, a couple of things come to mind.  The first is that the divine creature must have allowed Jacob to win.  I mean if I was to wrestle with a divine being that all he had to do was stop thinking of me and I would disappear , or knew my every move because he knew the future, I would get my rear-end kicked.  This divine being though allows Jacob to win.  Why?  He does so out of love.   Have you ever seen a child between the ages of 3 to 7 years old play a sport like soccer for example against an older more talented adult?  If so you know that the only way the child wins is because the adult lets them  win and the adult allows them to win because he or she knows that there is something better than the winning- the love that the child feels and the smile on the child’s face.
 
God allows Jacob to win in much the same way He allowed us to kill His first born Son Jesus.  He does so out of love for us. 
 
The second thing that strikes me is the idea of “wrestling or struggling” God and I do not mean in some sort of professional wrestling match but rather the idea of “wrestling with being in a relationship with a divine being.”  Just as human relationships are never easy because you never truly know what the other person is capable of or is thinking at any given moment, one’s relationship with God is an immense struggle for the same reasons.  What does it mean to be in a relationship with a God who is pure justice and pure mercy?  What does it mean to be in relationship with a God who seems to have almost two different personalities (the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament)?  What does it mean to be in a relationship with a God who is all loving but yet allows evil in the world?  This is what I mean by the idea of wrestling with God. 
 
Jacob becomes Israel the person who wrestles with God, his descendants after they follow Moses through the Red Sea become the nation of Israel, a nation who wrestles with the idea of being in a relationship with God, and finally the Church is the new Israel founded on the twelve Apostles.  What does it mean for us to struggle with being in a relationship with a God who loves us so much that He sent his only Son not to condemn us but rather so that we might have eternal life if we would only follow Jesus who is the Truth, the Way, and the Life.

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Continuing with my spiritual randomness for this month, I would like to focus a little on the Episcopal motto of Archbishop Carlson.  When a man is made a bishop he is asked to pick a motto or an expression.  Sometimes they are spiritually based for example Cardinal Glennon’s motto was “Faithful Cross, Eternal Light” and sometimes there may or may not be a spiritual connection for example Archbishop Kenrick’s motto was “Do not irritate the lion?”  Many priests joke that he was “the lion” that you should not irritate.  Archbishop Carlson’s motto is “Before the Cross, There is No Defense.”
 
Have you ever screwed up so bad that you just knew there was no way to justify your behavior?  Maybe it was because you so totally misjudged a situation or maybe because you though did not cover your tracks as well as you thought you did?  I do not think that there are many feelings that can be worse than that feeling of being totally caught with no chance of escape.  All you can do is tell the truth and hope that the person in the judgment seat will have mercy. 
 
When we die each of us will come before our Lord for our final judgment and if our God was like a human judge we might be able to get off on a technicality but our God is not like human judges for He is LOVE.  When we die we will come face to face with PURE LOVE. 
 
The greatest act of pure love is totally self-sacrifice for another and that is how God proved his love for us by giving of himself on the cross. 
 
Romans 5:6-8
For Christ, while we were still helpless, yet died at the appointed time for the ungodly. Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.
 
As I think about Archbishop Carlson’s motto and realize that excuses will not matter much when I come before our God on the judgment day, I find myself trying to rid my life of excuses now.  I strive to live the life that God wants me to live now because God will not understand how I could so easily let myself off the hook after all that he has done for me.  A life without excuses is a hard life because we must overcome our fears and our slothfulness but it also very rewarding life. 
 
I think that this is an important idea to catch on to in today’s world because so many people I believe are assuming that they will just get into heaven because “God is love,” and while Jesus reveals to us that God is all loving He also reveals to us that God will turn people away. In chapter 25 of Mathew’s Gospel we find three great parables and each of these parables talk about how people are  not allowed into the kingdom of heaven because they squandered their chance and in each there is no defense that the people can offer that works.
 
"Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!' Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise ones replied, 'No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.' While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards the other virgins came and said, 'Lord, Lord, open the door for us!' But he said in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.' Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.
 
"It will be as when a man who was going on a journey called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them. To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one--to each according to his ability. Then he went away. Immediately the one who received five talents went and traded with them, and made another five.  Likewise, the one who received two made another two. But the man who received one went off and dug a hole in the ground and buried his master's money. After a long time the master of those servants came back and settled accounts with them. The one who had received five talents came forward bringing the additional five. He said, 'Master, you gave me five talents. See, I have made five more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master's joy.' (Then) the one who had received two talents also came forward and said, 'Master, you gave me two talents. See, I have made two more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master's joy.' Then the one who had received the one talent came forward and said, 'Master, I knew you were a demanding person, harvesting where you did not plant and gathering where you did not scatter;  so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground. Here it is back.' His master said to him in reply, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I did not plant and gather where I did not scatter? Should you not then have put my money in the bank so that I could have got it back with interest on my return? Now then! Take the talent from him and give it to the one with ten. For to everyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.'
 
 
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'  Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.'  Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

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A very Merry and Blessed Christmas to you all, let us take a moment to get to our next random spiritual pondering.
For this week’s spiritual pondering I would like to focus on something that one of my professors called the area code prayer because it began with Ephesians chapter 3 verse 14 and the area code of the city of St. Louis is “314”.
 
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
 
It is a tradition for newly ordained priests to create a prayer card to be handed out as a part of their ordination celebration and to select a quote or prayer that really touches them and this was the passage I chose for my holy card because it speaks to me of what Christian ministry is all about.  In the above passage St. Paul explains why he is a minister of the Gospel
 
The first line of the passage really strikes me “For this reason I kneel before the Father…” because I feel it as a call to reflect on why I choose to be a minister of Jesus Christ.  I truly feel that each person who is doing a ministry in the Church needs to reflect deeply on that simple question “why do I do this ministry?”  We must also be careful not to answer this question to quickly but rather to deeply reflect on it. 
 
This past summer I attended a LIFETEEN training convention in Phoenix Arizona and one of the speakers asked the following question on the first night “Are you ministering out of a promise from God or a promise to God?”  The idea being if we are ministering “out of a promise to God” we need to stop and think because most likely we are doing ministry for the wrong reason.  We might be doing ministry because we are trying to earn our salvation which is bad because we cannot earn our salvation and this often leads us into a score keeping mentality with God: God you have to let me into heaven in because I have done all these things and God does not work this way.  We might be doing ministry because it is where we are comfortable despite the fact that God has been trying to draw us into other areas of ministry that might not be so comfortable.  This can happen when we stop praying but yet continue to do ministry. We might even be doing a ministry simply because we enjoy being around others but yet have no gifts or talents for that area of ministry and worse yet make no effort to improve ourselves. 
 
If we are ministry out of a “promise from God,” then we minister from a place of desiring what we can do to spread the Gospels.  We minister from a joy of knowing that we are loved by God and not out of fear of having to earn God’s love.  If we feel God is calling us to do something that we may not be good at we take a leap of faith like Abraham, Moses, and the prophets.  They only way this second part can be done is through a consistent relationship of prayer with God. 
 
St. Paul’s reason for ministry speaks of total gift of himself to the people that he is ministering to so that they may come to know the love of God.  It also speaks to us of a trust that with God we can do anything and everything.  Finally St. Paul speaks of doing this all for the glory of God and not for his glory and this needs to be a key point in our ministry that we are doing it for God’s glory and not ours.  This does not mean that we reject compliments and such but it does mean that we do not insist upon them or request them before we do ministry.

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Once again a Merry Christmas to you all. 
 
I was recently preparing a couple for marriage and she was not Catholic.  She asked me “why is it that non-Catholics cannot receive the Eucharist?”  As I said a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit for help and image came into my mind and I would like to share it with you now. 
 
I responded by talking about if she was to invite me into her house for dinner with her and her fiancé, there is a certain comfort level with me being in the living room and the dining room but she would not appreciate it if I started rummaging through her underwear drawers or medicine cabinet because these were very intimate and personal things for her.  In much the same way we Catholics hold the Eucharist as being very dear and intimate to our faith.  It is more than just a symbol or a sign it is our Lord being present to us in a very special way and we know that not everyone holds the Eucharist in the same way that we do and so we ask out of respect for our beliefs that non-Catholics refrain from receiving the Eucharist.
 
I went on to talk about how different people have different levels of comfort also and that we are called to respect the other person’s comfort level and not assert our rights.  I told her for example, I have more freedom in one of my brother’s house because he is a bachelor and does care if people roam his house but my sister on the other hand is a neat freak and does not like people going through her house out of fear that her visitors may find some dirt in her house.  When my bachelor brother goes and visits my neat freak sister he does not force his way on her but rather respects her way.  If he were to force his way on her he would be considered rude.  In much the same way each faith has its own rules and if we are to be truly respectful of each others’ religion it has more to do with respecting their traditions than asserting our rights. 
 
I also believe that true ecumenism (unity and respect between religions) can only happen if we acknowledge our differences and respect them.  I do not ridicule a Muslim for praying five times a day or a Jew for not eating pork and so I would expect the same courtesy when it comes to my protection of the Eucharist.  I know that peace only exists in my family when we acknowledge our differences and respect them.
 
Two more thoughts before I sign off for the year. 
 
First, as we move forward toward next Advent and the changes in the liturgy translations, I pray that we will be able to remember the most important thing is the Mass and not our preferences and sometimes we follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit even when we don’t know why we are doing something and even when we think it is stupid.  I believe that the Holy Spirit is still guiding our Church and if He did not want this to take place He would have stopped it.
 
Second, we need to remind ourselves constantly of our need to grow in holiness and true conversion.  None of us are perfect and none of us are finished.  Grace often works like water over rocks.  The sharp edges of the rock’s eventually disappear but it is a process that takes a long time. 
 
May God bless you and your family in the upcoming year!!!